Friendship

I am sure I mentioned it before that I have an elderly friend who lives alone. I have known him for over fifty years and as far as I am concerned I still like him. The poor soul lost his wife of over thirty years about ten years ago. No children, no family he lives here in New York all alone. In addition to that he is not well.

He has difficulties with balance and because of that falls frequently. Very hard for him to go out of the house, walks with a walker so life is very difficult for him.

He has a nice woman who comes several times a week to take care of him, physical therapist visits him and just about that's it.

Lately I have been seeing him on Fridays and I am sure he is looking forward these visits. Actually, when he had problems before he asked the woman helping him not to call anybody just me.

Don't misunderstand, he is not a burden and I will help him whenever I can.

I am very grateful to him and his wife because they introduced me to my wife thirty six years ago. I will never forget that.

But that's not the reason I am keeping in touch with him.

I have to add that years ago he had many friends but by now most of them are just as old as he is or older and equally not well or even worse because they are not around any longer. Still there are several former friends still alive but unfortunately they all seem to have selective memory as far as he is concerned.

What I mean is that he is alone. Nobody thinks it would be nice maybe to visit an old friend once in a while. Nobody thinks it would be nice to ask if there was anything anybody could to for him. Some of them call him very rarely and just like in with me all they want to hear that he is all right.

Is this what friendship is all about?

People are good and acceptable as long they are useful, entertaining, sociable or for a few other reasons. But as long as those reasons do not exist anymore all the so called friends disappear and don't want to be bothered any longer. The minute somebody becomes a problem people don't want to get involved, and that is the sad truth.

Apparently these people confuse the definition of friendship with acquaintances. The difference is that friends stick around through thick and thin and are reliable and are there when needed. Acquaintances are just that and nothing more.

I don't believe in this kind of attitude and that is why I stay with my friend as long as I can and as long as it is necessary. Hell with everybody else!