Fast Times

Today is June 2. My question is where did March, April and May go?

Time is going so fast it is unbelievable. My days are kind of blending into one another with nothing noticeable happening and I was very surprised when I realized that May left and June came on.

My world stopped on February 17 and since then I am living in a haze or in the twilight zone.

I make no plans, I have no plans. I function which means I get up in the morning, I do things around the house, I pay my bills, I eat, see a few friends and just about that does it.

But one day blends into the next with no real difference between them. I know that they say it takes time but no matter what anybody says it is not easy but they do say it never gets easier, and I believe it.

Today having a gorgeous day I went to the beach. It was so crowded I had a hard time finding parking place. I went there after my morning gym visit so it was noon by the time I got out.

Did not go into the water because that is still cold but sat in the sun for a couple of hours. It was very weird being there all by myself. Never did it before and felt very alone. But I guess If I want to go to the beach I will have to get used to it.

This is the reason I don't want to go to St. Maarten this Summer, I don't want to be alone. As I was sitting there today I was imagining myself in St. Maarten, alone and my feelings reinforced my decision.

Maybe next year!