Life Sentence

I saw a movie on TV the other night where somebody was sentenced to life imprisonment without parole. That made me think about the hopelessness and aimlessness of life in a situation like that.

Then I realized that what I am going through is very similar to such a sentence.

I should have warned everybody who read this that right now I am in a very depressed mood!

Back to life without parole.

I am alone and that is the sad truth. At the age that I am now there is very little chance to expect any change from life. And that is exactly what a life sentence without the possibility of parole is.

I function, I socialize, I am going through the motions but when I turn the lights off at night and sleep eludes me there is only me and my memories locked into that prison cell of my mind. And that is the painful thruth.

Maybe I am watching too many crime shows to think like this but no matter what this is how I feel.

There is a man in my building who lost his wife about 35 years ago. I think he is older than me, lives alone. Every time I see him I can't help thinking that this is what awaits for me? Except I don't have 35 more years to go because then I'll make the Guiness Book of World Records.

I have a friend who is over 91 years old. Lost his wife about ten or twelve years ago. Lives all alone, no family, only friends and he is not very healthy. His only independence is that he is still able to drive. But how long?

For me, I am still waiting by the door!

it is very depressing to see such people because I can not help but see myself in the future.