Wednesday Part 2

Just a little follow up on yesterday's subject and here I am referring to my visit to Sloan Kettering. The young lady who was really the main speaker/advisor was a psychologist who seemed to be well versed on the subject. And naturally the subject was how to deal with the loss of a loved one on holidays or in actuality on any other days.

For one, my problem was that she was very young. As you know I expressed my feelings in earlier writings that I have a major antipathy with young people in any kind of advisory position. May that be psychological, financial or any other subject. When I take my car to the shop for repair I would much prefer an older mechanic versus a young one. And, our souls are like a broken engine that needs fixing. It does not need a young whippersnapper but an experienced older person.

Even though this person was well spoken, seemed to understand the problems surrounding us, the "mourners", and she appeared to have answers to all the questions that were brought up, still it seemed to me that they were nothing else but textbook responses that somebody who just came out of school would give.

I know there is no magic solution to our problems but she still lacked the experience and for me also my confidence in her responses. Maybe if she were 25-30 years older and had a few more years experience behind her I might have given her more credit. But as it was she didn't say anything I didn't already know.

No psychologist or pastor or textbook can describe the pain a person feels when a loved one is lost unless they experienced it. The emptiness, the aimlessness, the lack of purpose of life is overwhelming. And nobody except another person in the same shoes will understand this. There is no psychologist or pastor who can reasonably provide any solution to this problem. This is not a pain that a Tylenol can fix. This is a pain that is deep seated and it permeates through every pore in one's body.

We function during the day, most of us socialize but when we are alone at home or wherever the pain hits with full force. The memories burst forward and there is nothing one can do to prevent it. But really, I don't think we would like to prevent this occurrence.

There is no solution and that's the sad reality.


Ps: I wrote psychologist several times and I am very proud of myself. It is not an easy word to write without screwing up the spelling!