Life As I know It

Now that my life is slowly going back to normal (meaning dull and uninteresting) I realized that I have so much to do that I really can not imagine how I am going to deal with it.

While the weather was nice and Summery I always said to myself if it was sunny and warm I was heading to the beach. But that has changed now, boring Autumn is here with shorter daylight hours, colder temperatures and generally crappy weather.

Meaning, there is not much to do outdoors and that leaves things to do indoors.

And that is supposed to give the opportunity and time to put myself and my house in order.

For myself it means doctors' visits. Thankfully there is not much wrong with me but before my health insurance coverage changes by the first of the year I have to get my checkups. Some is overdue, some will be on time. And hopefully neither will require further visits.

Up until now i always said to myself when I thought of things to do that maybe next Monday, maybe next week. But this is now the next Monday and next week. Can not keep postponing certain obligations for ever even if they are heartbreaking.

I think getting rid of the fur coats was the first step in that direction.

Like I mentioned before yesterday we celebrated my friend's twenty fifth birthday. What a great event!. She has her entire life front of her and hopefully it will be a very long and happy life. I am glad for her and wish her all the good things in life.

On the other front I am tasked to take care of things from another person whose life is no more. Whose life was been taken away by a terrible illness.

These two things are at the extreme end of the spectrum of life. This is where happy meets unhappy in my mind and in my heart.

But I have to control my emotions and keep them under control.

For one, I am genuinely happy for my young friend. She is full of zest and go and that's the way young people should be.

On the other hand I am very apprehensive of the tasks that lie ahead of me because in some way they represent closure. And I do not want closure.

Not just yet!

For me, I am still waiting by the door!