Today (Sunday) I heard an ad on the radio where they said how healthy horseradish is. They said just a little bit a day will make one feel very good. They also said it has superb antioxidant properties and a small amaount a day is very good to eat.
So on that note and keeping healthy living in the forefront of my existence I fixed myself a strong bloody mary this afternoon. You must understand that my bloody mary is heavy on horseradish. As I am sitting here writing this I'm sipping my health drink and feeling very good. Well, beside the horseradish I have a few secret receipes that make my concoction extremely good.
I am writing this at 6 in the afternoon and it is thundering and lightning in my neighborhood. A beautiful Sunday if I may say so. I feel sorry for my friends who came over from the UK and now are stuck with this miserable weather. This is not an outdoorsy weather. It has been raining almost non stop since Saturday morning.
Maybe because they premiered the movie Noah on Friday. And we all know what Noah is all about. Rain, rain and more rain. So this weather might be a marketing ploy for the movie.
Back to healthy living. They kept saying for years that coffee is no good because of caffeine in it. Now they changed it saying that actually caffeine is beneficial for hair growth and also ward off Alzheimer's. Years ago they said eggs will increase the cholesterol level. Now they are saying eggs are good may prevent macular degeneration and eggs can also prevent strokes and heart attacks.
My head is spinning from all this eat do not eat, drink do not drink advise. Why the scientists can not get their acts together and come up with good reliable advice. Every few days in the media they come up with some newly discovered "fact" that proves long believed facts wrong.
It is amazing how much this modern world do not know.
In my parents' and grandparents' time there were no such discoveries, or at least very few. People ate what they could get their hand on or whatever was traditional. And they all were healthy and happy. There was no high cholesterol, high blood pressure or any other complications. Oh, and my Mother and Grandmother did not cook with canola oil but used lard. And I ate well, very well.
This new world has its own complications in food: tofu, organic food, artificial seafood, farm produced fish.
Where I grew up people stuffed ducks and geese by hand and that way they got big and fat with huge livers. They might have not been too happy about it but when at the end of the road they were being killed for food what difference it made. The goose liver pates were fantastic I have to admit.
Now to make the ducks and geese happy they can not be hand stuffed. I don't know how happy they are when their heads are chopped off.
That's life on the slow lane.
Monday, March 31, 2014
Sunday, March 30, 2014
We or Me
I am having a difficult time with the posessive nouns. At least that is what I think they are called. I am not William Safire, I am not a master of the English language but I still feel at home with it.
However, during discussions I am apt to talk about things in first person plural. Instead of saying I don't like it or I don't frequent it I will say we don't like it or we don't frequent it.
It is not easy to change one's habits after many years. I was first married for twenty years and the second time for over thirty-three years. So in all honesty I never had the chance to think for myself or never had a thought that was really just mine. In all those years I was practically told what to think and how to think. A domesticated version of the Manchurian Candidate!
Don't misunderstand me, I loved every minute of it. That is why it is so difficult to get used to saying things like it is mine, I don't like it or I don't go to places like that etc. ways selected our cars together. She was responsible for the colors and the look of the car. I was responsible for... I don't know for what, I think that they had four wheels. So, it was always our car. Now I have to say it is my car. Takes some getting used to.
While I am talking to people I keep catching myself talking about my wife in the present tense and saying things using the plural posessive noun. I am sure this will change and I will be able to conduct normal conversations but I do need time to get used to my new way of life.
Yesterday I received a condolance letter from somebody I have known for a very long time. I immensely respect and admire this person and all the advice he gave me I take very seriously. He went through a similar traumatic experience fifteen years ago and did not fall to pieces. He picked up and started life again and today he is very happily married for over ten years.
O.k. at the time he was ten years younger then I am now when his tragedy struck but what is age? It's only a number, right?
However, during discussions I am apt to talk about things in first person plural. Instead of saying I don't like it or I don't frequent it I will say we don't like it or we don't frequent it.
It is not easy to change one's habits after many years. I was first married for twenty years and the second time for over thirty-three years. So in all honesty I never had the chance to think for myself or never had a thought that was really just mine. In all those years I was practically told what to think and how to think. A domesticated version of the Manchurian Candidate!
Don't misunderstand me, I loved every minute of it. That is why it is so difficult to get used to saying things like it is mine, I don't like it or I don't go to places like that etc. ways selected our cars together. She was responsible for the colors and the look of the car. I was responsible for... I don't know for what, I think that they had four wheels. So, it was always our car. Now I have to say it is my car. Takes some getting used to.
While I am talking to people I keep catching myself talking about my wife in the present tense and saying things using the plural posessive noun. I am sure this will change and I will be able to conduct normal conversations but I do need time to get used to my new way of life.
Yesterday I received a condolance letter from somebody I have known for a very long time. I immensely respect and admire this person and all the advice he gave me I take very seriously. He went through a similar traumatic experience fifteen years ago and did not fall to pieces. He picked up and started life again and today he is very happily married for over ten years.
O.k. at the time he was ten years younger then I am now when his tragedy struck but what is age? It's only a number, right?
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Subjects
Some people ask me how do I find things to write about every day. Actually what they mean how do I find different things to write about.
It is easy. Just look around in the world. There is something happening every hour of the day every single day. So, just sit down think about what you really care about and write what you think might be interesting and worth mentioning.
Unfortunately enough tragedy happened to me fill up an entire book. But to write down my feelings about what happened is a lot easier than talking to people.
When I describe my feelings, heartaches I feel like I am imposing on others by forcing them to politely listen to my ramblings. And they might just do that.
But when I write those same feelings down I am not forcing anybody to read them. If they are not interested they can stop anytime. However, it makes me feel a lot better and I feel relieved after. I might not be able to describe them as eloquently as if I were saying them but then I am not Shakespeare either. But it makes me feel a lot better to open up like that.
It also eliminates the need for each and every person to ask how am I doing.
Slowly I will try to change the subject of my blog away from myself and I'll try to write about curent or lighter subjects. But you must understand, it is not easy. What happened to me is so overwhelming that it affects every aspect of my life.
In reality there is not a moment of a day that does not reflect the changes my life is being forced to go through. But as a good trooper I am dealing with the hardships and getting accustomed to my new life.
And I am still waiting for the doorbell to ring!
It is easy. Just look around in the world. There is something happening every hour of the day every single day. So, just sit down think about what you really care about and write what you think might be interesting and worth mentioning.
Unfortunately enough tragedy happened to me fill up an entire book. But to write down my feelings about what happened is a lot easier than talking to people.
When I describe my feelings, heartaches I feel like I am imposing on others by forcing them to politely listen to my ramblings. And they might just do that.
But when I write those same feelings down I am not forcing anybody to read them. If they are not interested they can stop anytime. However, it makes me feel a lot better and I feel relieved after. I might not be able to describe them as eloquently as if I were saying them but then I am not Shakespeare either. But it makes me feel a lot better to open up like that.
It also eliminates the need for each and every person to ask how am I doing.
Slowly I will try to change the subject of my blog away from myself and I'll try to write about curent or lighter subjects. But you must understand, it is not easy. What happened to me is so overwhelming that it affects every aspect of my life.
In reality there is not a moment of a day that does not reflect the changes my life is being forced to go through. But as a good trooper I am dealing with the hardships and getting accustomed to my new life.
And I am still waiting for the doorbell to ring!
Friday, March 28, 2014
Cleaning and other stuff
I'm really getting the hang of it. Yesterday was "cleaning day" in my house. I made all kinds of plans what needed to be done, how to do it and how long it would take.
Well, I started around 9 am and was finished by 1 pm. I am getting pretty well organized and I am proud of me for this acomplishment. It's not that I skip things just that some things only get done maybe every two weeks. Since I am the only one here I really don't make too much of a mess. So, why should I kill myself doing stuff that is not needed.
It is a scientific mystery how dust get inside the apartment when no windows are ever open. Yet, after a week or so everything is covered with a fine layer of dust. I would love to know the answer to that.
The funny thing about cleaning is that when the work is done everything is nice, clean and smell good with a clean smell. I am afraid to move, to sit down for disturbing this idyllic environment. It takes a while until I start to feel at home again. And figure so what, if I mess it up I'll just fix it again.
==================================
Later today I will meet with friends that I haven't seen in a long time. My friend and I know each other for almost a lifetime, and believe me that is a long time. Unfortunately, him and his wife live on the othe side of the pond in good old England and we only meet when they come to our side. Anyway, today is the first day that we will meet.
Our plan is to visit some sites in New York, have a nice lunch, talk, catch up with each other then see each other ahgain next Monday for one more time before they are returning home. They knew my wife and were the first to call years ago when they found out about Her illness. So I am sure we will not lack subjects to talk about.
This is what I meant in an earlier writing. Friends like him are not easy to find. Mainly for someone who didn't grow up in this country. Unless one arrives here in a really young age and creates lasting friendships right at the beginning it is not easy.
That's why I cherish these friends I have from the old world. Not that I don't cherish the friends I cultivated since arriving to these shores.
Well, I started around 9 am and was finished by 1 pm. I am getting pretty well organized and I am proud of me for this acomplishment. It's not that I skip things just that some things only get done maybe every two weeks. Since I am the only one here I really don't make too much of a mess. So, why should I kill myself doing stuff that is not needed.
It is a scientific mystery how dust get inside the apartment when no windows are ever open. Yet, after a week or so everything is covered with a fine layer of dust. I would love to know the answer to that.
The funny thing about cleaning is that when the work is done everything is nice, clean and smell good with a clean smell. I am afraid to move, to sit down for disturbing this idyllic environment. It takes a while until I start to feel at home again. And figure so what, if I mess it up I'll just fix it again.
==================================
Later today I will meet with friends that I haven't seen in a long time. My friend and I know each other for almost a lifetime, and believe me that is a long time. Unfortunately, him and his wife live on the othe side of the pond in good old England and we only meet when they come to our side. Anyway, today is the first day that we will meet.
Our plan is to visit some sites in New York, have a nice lunch, talk, catch up with each other then see each other ahgain next Monday for one more time before they are returning home. They knew my wife and were the first to call years ago when they found out about Her illness. So I am sure we will not lack subjects to talk about.
This is what I meant in an earlier writing. Friends like him are not easy to find. Mainly for someone who didn't grow up in this country. Unless one arrives here in a really young age and creates lasting friendships right at the beginning it is not easy.
That's why I cherish these friends I have from the old world. Not that I don't cherish the friends I cultivated since arriving to these shores.
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Shopping
Yesterday I decided to "splurge". I figured nothing is too expensive for me so I spend money on myself, for a change.
I have a bedside alarm clock radio that is quite a few years old and not all of its functions are working (just like me!). I like to go to sleep with some music on but can not turn it low enough that the neighbors wouldn't hear it.
So, yesterday I went to Best Buy, Walmart and Target for comparison shopping. Doesn't it make sense? One just doesn't go and buy the first item he sees without further investigation, right?
Well, the ones I saw were were in different price ranges from $200 down. I don't need the damn thing to talk to me, to curl up next to me, charge all the electronics during the night including my Apple phone (that I don't have) and god knows what else.
I just want an am, fm radio with wake up and sleep features. The simplest things one needs the hardest it is to find. But I prevailed and I found a nice little RCA radio at Target for $8.39. Yes, for $8.39.
Can't tell you how happy I was with my find. Good name, looks good, has everything I wanted.
Long story short: it is going back to Target. Biggest piece of sh.t in a small box. I really got what I paid for. That what happens when somebody is cheap or wants to be thrifty.
The trouble with technology today that it is moving ahead in leaps and bounds. They are forcing us to keep up with it otherwise we will be left behind, far behind.
I have a Panasonic mini stereo system with two speakers. The thing has cd player, tape player and am/fm radio. There is also a record player connected to it. It perfectly fits behind a glass door in a wooden cabinet. Well, sometime ago its start up memory went haywire and I found out it can not be fixed. I guess it got alzheimer's.
I'm going nuts trying to find a similar one since this model is discontinued. I went to a few stores and asked around. The sales people looked at me with those sorrow look and shook their heads while saying oh we don't make those anymore. Now, if that does not make one feel old I don't know what does.
But I don't give up. I keep looking. Even if one has an I-phone or blue tooth something charger built in I might buy it just to show those sales people how cool I am.
I have a bedside alarm clock radio that is quite a few years old and not all of its functions are working (just like me!). I like to go to sleep with some music on but can not turn it low enough that the neighbors wouldn't hear it.
So, yesterday I went to Best Buy, Walmart and Target for comparison shopping. Doesn't it make sense? One just doesn't go and buy the first item he sees without further investigation, right?
Well, the ones I saw were were in different price ranges from $200 down. I don't need the damn thing to talk to me, to curl up next to me, charge all the electronics during the night including my Apple phone (that I don't have) and god knows what else.
I just want an am, fm radio with wake up and sleep features. The simplest things one needs the hardest it is to find. But I prevailed and I found a nice little RCA radio at Target for $8.39. Yes, for $8.39.
Can't tell you how happy I was with my find. Good name, looks good, has everything I wanted.
Long story short: it is going back to Target. Biggest piece of sh.t in a small box. I really got what I paid for. That what happens when somebody is cheap or wants to be thrifty.
The trouble with technology today that it is moving ahead in leaps and bounds. They are forcing us to keep up with it otherwise we will be left behind, far behind.
I have a Panasonic mini stereo system with two speakers. The thing has cd player, tape player and am/fm radio. There is also a record player connected to it. It perfectly fits behind a glass door in a wooden cabinet. Well, sometime ago its start up memory went haywire and I found out it can not be fixed. I guess it got alzheimer's.
I'm going nuts trying to find a similar one since this model is discontinued. I went to a few stores and asked around. The sales people looked at me with those sorrow look and shook their heads while saying oh we don't make those anymore. Now, if that does not make one feel old I don't know what does.
But I don't give up. I keep looking. Even if one has an I-phone or blue tooth something charger built in I might buy it just to show those sales people how cool I am.
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Life goes on
Every time I meet somebody they always ask me how am I doing. It is nice to know that people care but what is the correct response?
I am doing o.k. I carry on with my life, I am doing the necessary chores. I am not a mental basket case, at least not out in the open. What I do and how I feel in the privacy of my home is mine and mine alone.
Yesterday somebody from my building asked me just the same question. I told him I do things just the way my wife would have wanted me to. I don't want Her to get pissed at me for doing something the wrong way.
But I don't plan to live in a mausoleum either. When time is right I will make some changes but only if I think they are necessary.
I have a cousin in Hungary whose mother passed away about twenty years ago. He lives in the same apartment, never changed anything, did not give away her clothing or any of her belongings. Now, this is not a very normal nor healthy behaviour.
I certainly don't plan to live like that. Memories are not in material items but in one's heart. Clothing and stuff are just that: material items.
What I really resent is when somebody tells me "if you want to talk just call".
The way I look at this as long as I don't call everything is well. But according to them when I feel the need to talk I should call.
Well, it ain't gonna happen! The way I look at it anybody who is interested in my well being is free to pick up the phone and call. I will be very happy to talk and convey how I feel. But I am not burdening anybody with my pains and problems. Nobody can come close to understanding it anyway. Not saying that other people didn't go through similar losses but we all deal with our pains differently. That is what makes us humans.
I do have friends who call and inquire and show genuine interest in my well being and I am very grateful for them. But then not everybody is the same.
I am doing o.k. I carry on with my life, I am doing the necessary chores. I am not a mental basket case, at least not out in the open. What I do and how I feel in the privacy of my home is mine and mine alone.
Yesterday somebody from my building asked me just the same question. I told him I do things just the way my wife would have wanted me to. I don't want Her to get pissed at me for doing something the wrong way.
But I don't plan to live in a mausoleum either. When time is right I will make some changes but only if I think they are necessary.
I have a cousin in Hungary whose mother passed away about twenty years ago. He lives in the same apartment, never changed anything, did not give away her clothing or any of her belongings. Now, this is not a very normal nor healthy behaviour.
I certainly don't plan to live like that. Memories are not in material items but in one's heart. Clothing and stuff are just that: material items.
What I really resent is when somebody tells me "if you want to talk just call".
The way I look at this as long as I don't call everything is well. But according to them when I feel the need to talk I should call.
Well, it ain't gonna happen! The way I look at it anybody who is interested in my well being is free to pick up the phone and call. I will be very happy to talk and convey how I feel. But I am not burdening anybody with my pains and problems. Nobody can come close to understanding it anyway. Not saying that other people didn't go through similar losses but we all deal with our pains differently. That is what makes us humans.
I do have friends who call and inquire and show genuine interest in my well being and I am very grateful for them. But then not everybody is the same.
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
A day of rest
Sunday, the weekend went by so fast I barely noticed it. I know it is Tuesday now but I just came up for air from the busy weekend.
Saturday I was with friends, did supermarket shopping and other things. Sunday was a great day. I got up, fixed myself my favorite breakfast: two bird nests (I hope everybody know what they are), had coffee, freshened up the apartment, paid some bills then settled down to do absolutely nothing.
As an excuse, I am battling a stubborn cold that is still on the incoming path. For lunch I fixed myself what seemed like a gallon of Lipton chicken noodle soup or the Jewish penicillin that I ate at one sitting.
In the afternoon I watched a lot of college basketball (which I really don't care about one way or another), snoozed and watched more.
Had a few telephone calls than watched more. For dinner I had more "penicillin". A friend of mine made me real chicken soup that I ate. It was fabulous. Can't wait until I eat the other half. Too bad it is in the freezer and frozen solid.
After dinner more tv then about midnight go to sleep for a well deserved rest.
But look at it the other way. Everything I didn't do on Sunday I have another day to do. This way I'll never be bored!
Saturday I was with friends, did supermarket shopping and other things. Sunday was a great day. I got up, fixed myself my favorite breakfast: two bird nests (I hope everybody know what they are), had coffee, freshened up the apartment, paid some bills then settled down to do absolutely nothing.
As an excuse, I am battling a stubborn cold that is still on the incoming path. For lunch I fixed myself what seemed like a gallon of Lipton chicken noodle soup or the Jewish penicillin that I ate at one sitting.
In the afternoon I watched a lot of college basketball (which I really don't care about one way or another), snoozed and watched more.
Had a few telephone calls than watched more. For dinner I had more "penicillin". A friend of mine made me real chicken soup that I ate. It was fabulous. Can't wait until I eat the other half. Too bad it is in the freezer and frozen solid.
After dinner more tv then about midnight go to sleep for a well deserved rest.
But look at it the other way. Everything I didn't do on Sunday I have another day to do. This way I'll never be bored!
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