Today is February 17, the one year anniversary that my Wife passed away. We had a quiet remembrance with my brother in law by visiting the place where Her ashes are being kept. We talked about Her we were telling stories to each other from times past. We laughed and we cried but overall it was a nice quiet day.
One year went by. In retrospect it seems it went by pretty fast but in reality it didn't. Most of the year went one day at a time. I was trying to keep myself busy both socially as well as physically. I succeeded to a point but the memories stayed throughout.
The good ones as well as the bad ones. Even though at this point I do not care about the bad ones I only want to remember the good ones. And the thirty plus years were full of those.
I still feel cheated out of life. I still feel Her death was not deserved. She could have lived many-many more years alongside of me and we could have both enjoyed the benefits of retired life.
But slowly I am coming to terms with what happened and trying to put my life back on the right track. I have a new relationship that I deeply care about but that does not mean I am being unfaithful to Her memory. Her love for me and Her memory will live in my mind and heart forever because nobody can take that away.
The love I am developing in my new relationship is not connected to my previous life. This is the new me who has absolutely no regret about the past and at the same time trying to live my life to the fullest.
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