Today is Wednesday

Not that I am counting it but the computer keeps tab on how many blog articles were written. This one is the 450th. It is a nice accomplishment even if I venture to say so.

Anyhow, I just thought I'll mention it.

Today is the ten month anniversary of my wife's passing away. Time really flies but to me it still seems like it was all just yesterday, even though so much happened in this previous ten months. I had a couple of visitors from Hungary, I went away for two weeks to "my Caribbean hideout". Summer happened and then Fall. Meaning that life does go on no matter what catastrophe befalls us.

I am very grateful to my friends who really are a tremendous help with my life. They don't let me vegetate and just plainly exist. They make sure I eat well (boy, do I ever!), they make sure I keep busy, they keep in touch with me and they keep the memory of my Wife alive. So life is not that quiet, and I appreciate every single gesture even when it appears overwhelming.

I try very hard not to become a decrepit old man an wallow in my sorrow. I try to be active and physically fit. Who know what life has in store for me. That's why I try to go to the gym a couple of times a week. O.k. this time I haven't been to the gym for about two weeks but just like my diet. It is the holiday season and I have no time!

That gym thing is also one of my New Year's resolution?!

This afternoon I am going to the bereavement session at Sloan Kettering where I have been going to since March. I don't know how much longer I will attend these get-togethers because we were told that there is really no rule about how long one feels the pain for loss of a loved one. We were told that we would know when there is no further need for such attending such a gathering. In reality the pain will never go away and neither the memories.

They just move a little bit to the back of one's mind. They just stop being an all encompassing heartache that nobody would appreciate or even trying to understand.

But as I always believed, unless life as we know it ceases to exist tomorrow the sun will come up and there will be another day.


Ps: If the sun comes up tomorrow and there is another day, I will have to clean house!