Today we had a funeral. We had to go to the funeral home early in the morning then after a short service we headed out to the cemetery. From the cemetery we went to the apartment of the deceased to pay our respects, to mingle and to eat.
The person deceased was the husband of my cousin. I knew him for over 50 years. Ever since they met on a blind date. He was a very good person and he died a very unnecessary death.
For personal reasons we did not keep in close touch but we were very much informed about their lives. Ironically, they lived only about ten minutes from us. Contact with them broke in about 15 years ago.
The man worked in the health industry all his life. His son and daughter in law are both doctors. He was very successful and very educated.
Yet, when he was diagnosed with prostate cancer many-many years ago he refused any and all treatments. Consequently, the cancer spread throughout his body and after a long period of suffering and complications he died on Friday.
His was a totally unnecessary death. The problem could have been solved, the cancer could have been cured. Many people had the same kind of problem and they all came out of it successfully.
He didn't deny treatment out of ignorance. I am convinced he was aware of the dangers of this ailment. He denied treatment because he did not want to impose on other people, on the family. He did that out of pride.
At the end he really suffered.
We happened to see him a few weeks ago in a nearby park when the weather was sunny and mild. My wife and I were both shocked at his appearance. He was sitting in a wheelchair dozing off in the warm sun.
He was like a broken little doll. His memory was intact because he recognized us immediately but we could see that talking was tiring him out. He was skin and bones, wrapped in a blanket. We talked a few minutes then we left.
The whole thing moved me terrible. But in hindsight now that he is no longer amongst us I am glad we had a last chance to see him no matter what he looked like.
It was interesting yet disturbing to go to this funeral. I saw a lot of people I know from many many years before. We don't get together with them because we move in different social circle nevertheless, I still knew them.
We only see each other at such occasions which is not yet too frequently. The disturbing thing is to see how people age. I remember some of the men being hefty, strong and healthy. Now, they are gray or bald, skinny old men walking with difficulty.
The women don't change. They just spend more time front of the mirror!
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Awful and more and more frequent subject you write about. We had 5 people for dinner last week. Two are very, very ill, one was really ill and one was in pain. That leaves two, me and my "partner". Of course we have many ailments, but it is all covered up!
ReplyDeleteJ